sanjana's+memoir

Air Turbulence By Sanjana Proddutur

As i was raised, i realized there was never a time that i had ever really survived without an adult figure in my life. Although i was at camp and other activities i had immense supervision which i guess restrained me from becoming a cult joining nudist. But last year my parents decided that it was time for them to let go, it was time to let me spread my wings and fly. They were willing to let me travel on and air plane all by my self. NO! adult supervison what so ever. But i had some one else on my ass, the National Security...... Way to set me free mom and dad..... Way to go.

" So do you have your passport?" my dad intensely stared at me. When ever i have some kind of important or any independent aspect i could pursue my dad would interrogate me like a Guantanamo bay CIA forces. Not the weird ones who take naked pictures of the prisoners. But the mean and torturing kind who beat the prisoners' asses every time they get the answer wrong. My dad never resorted to violence but he does give this intense death gripping stare that just makes your vomit the answers. Believe me i am the one who should talk, my first date left before we left the house because of my dad. NO one knows why. I went to get my scarf and by the time i came out POOF! Gone like the wind. " Yes dad, //i have my passport// " i sarcastically grunted. I hated how he thought i was an irresponsible wreck who forgets to put her pants on, for god's sake i am 15 not 2. I haven't even got like a late record or anything. I AM PERFECT. " Don't be so sarcastic Sanju, National Security can arrest you for not having a passport, and if you're labeled a terrorist, and all me and my mother can do is wave good bye as you leave for the maximum guarded prisons of GUANTANAMO BAY" he said it like it was some tourist location or cruise. 'come to guantanamo and you can be malled by the most notorious criminals of the world yayy.' As my dad ranted on why i should never forget my passport i could picture this like family of four dressed for a vacation ending up at the door of the prison and the mom being like " is this the resort" while she lowers her sunglasses. " Sanju?" " huh, oH mom" i snapped back " Nia you know that planes arent always safe, there are terrible things happening these days, like hi-jacks and crashes a ahnnd..." she bursted out in tears. "Ugh, ma, mum, MOM! stop crying i wont die, and what's the chance of me dying in a plane crash or hi-jack" i tried to comfort her through her embarrassing whale sound. " I know but its just that y-you're soo liddle" //Yeah that's why 5'7 mom.// I under stand the whole 'youngest of the brood growing up' and protecting your young but she is ridiculous. Three years ago when she sent me to camp and she actually came back at mid night the first day to see me. It was so embarrassing waking up with a flash light in my face, like i was some kind of criminal and my worried parents standing over me, i felt like i was some kind of mental patient who had escaped from my ward. For the whole week there all i heard was " Sanjana misses he mOmma so she eats a banana" kids were so fucking brutal ! and such dumb asses. When i started to push my luggage away and saying one last good bye LIAM showed up. I only remember dating him for like ten seconds in my life but he's like a reoccurring cold sore since he ismy best friend's half brother. Not completely just half the DNA. He flopped his arms around like a composer "SANJANA SANJANA ! HERE HERE" //i am not blind to your rapid pale skin. "// Oh Liam, you came.... Is Riya here with you" "Yeah she's coming.....um i wanted to tell you that when you come back you gotta give me your hot cousin's number" //oh yeah ill miss you too, and sure ill call.// "Liam she's like atleast seven years older than you and she's the one getting married you skeez, you have some wierd ass mommy issues get over your self" he shamelessly shrugged his shoulders and went back to his phone. When Riya came in so did her inconsiderate jerk of a boyfriend, although she did spend like everyday with him i wasn't jealous. Its just that he's such a douche bag and every one in the world sees it, except Riya. Let me tell you this first, this boy thinks my name is SAnjaina and he has referred to Riya from Ann to Zoey. She still goes back to him because he, wait for it, he cries. When he wants her back he cries on like an emotional video he makes for her and sends her. If that doesn't work flowers, candy, stalking, threatening suicide, and finally attempting makes her realize. Crap i still have to love him. " RIYA! Oh thank god i thought you were gonna not come"- i squealed "Yeah Sanjana i am gonna forget to say good bye to YOU of all people. You'd probably stalk me and eat me for dinner and then like feed my carcass to some Hobo." she giggled,"okay that was like once and that hobo was my brother's best friend" we smiled at each other like this was the last time we might see each other. She threw her arms around me and cried "Damn it why now, this summer was the summer we stalk like any celebrity we see in New York and the summer i got arrested before i turned 18 and the last summer before i leave for Venice" I wanted to cry and i guess i did some how, not because i would miss her but because her independence would tear us apart. While we sobfully hugged like the ending of the Traveling pants book " Oh Sanjaina you should've seen her in the car. GOD she was hysterical she was just yak yak yak Sanjaina sanjaina leaving yak blah blah" and he laughs, while the my tear glands no longer have any liquid because of the crying, he giggles like a horny catholic school girl I swear to god one of these days i wanna put a gun to his neck and ask him to say my name right. As i walked away to the board and leave i turned around and said one last good bye to people i probably wont really miss. " SANJANA, DONT FORGET ME" i heard Liam cry like a princess. As i boarded the plane i enjoyed the smell and the cleanliness it portrayed. It was my favorite thing ever. As long as i lived, i remember this smell the most. More than what any of my houses smelt like it was this smell,It was like my favorite place on the earth because it was so constant for me. So as i sit in my home away from home, i saw the nervous twitchy mothers of 9 and the alpha male Indian fathers around me. Then from the corner of my eye Flop! right next to me sat Marvin. Yes! Marvin Possibly the most beautiful species of man i had actually encountered. Since my cousin's company was destroyed because of incompetent and horny customer service men for Jet Airways i met my future booty call Marvin who's seat was fatefully placed next to mine and hers in the cockpit. He was from Bayone, New Jersey he was visiting his grand mother in Brussels. For the next eight hours i was his till i died. My magical dreams of our Martha's vineyard wedding had ended in 5 minutes when stuffy Hugh Hefner looking man told my Marvin that it wasn't his seat. " What do you mean it says, oh 25 oh sorry no glasses" Marvin broke my heart into a million little pieces as he inconveniently left. Hugh Hefner, instead of occupying his own seat decided he wanted to sit in mine. My generosity was not my control factor, it definately wasn't. For the next eight hours i was in between Dr Evil and Smelvin the smelly donkey. I would've died if it wasn't for the hope that one day i might see my Marvin again. As i adjusted in my seat and started up IPod, "excuse me, my children cant see the t.v because of the glare can you switch seats with them" Dr Evil demanded. //dammit son why dont you tell them to close it// "But sir i really.." he just grunted and " Oh thank you, Pinky and Rinky" //i barf like bulimic if i sit next to windows you jack ass.// I moved up next to an old woman who had taken enough sleeping meds to sleep through a crash or any worst case scenarios. When my seat next to the windows was confirmed i shut it as soon as i realized the wing was messed up. God i hope we hit air turbulence so i can sleep! As i chose among the limited plethora of movies i found one not to bad for the flight. PIRATES of the Caribbean- One of the ones that sucked. So as i started to watch the movie i felt some one kick my ass. Literally. When i turn around and look down, Dr Evil kinda suggests i disregard it with a head nod. But he does it again, and again again, and OVER AND OVER and " Damn sir, if you don't stop that now i might call the air hostess" he gives me a relaxed shrug and says " it happens! Sorry" his puny little daughters giggle. They weren't really his daughters they were more like his trophy wives. He was old enough to be a dad they were young enough to be concubines. His annoyance was not to be escaped, when i ate he pushed my seat while adjusting his TV screen and while sleeping he "adjusted" his damn leg rest. My patience was wearing out, just like grandma's sleeping meds, she woke up twice to wipe off her drool. Then, to cut the thread, 3 kicks same ass. When you hear your self snap, its like wood breaking or trapdoor slamming. Just a loud impatient noise. " You listen to me Hugh Hefner, you and your damn play boy bunnies better cut it off or, i will fucking cut your damn asses" But when you sleep the snap sounds like, "Air turbulence, please fasten your seat belt" and you just drift deeper and deeper slowly into a deep baby balooga serenading you. Your wings jittering but they are no longer shuttering. Its just the plane getting used to high altitude. The plane in you.