Usahtie


 * media type="custom" key="3002644"The following is my short story. If you'd like to read the continuation of this story, click here!

This is Usahtie.**

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“Do you have everything all ready?” “Yeah. It’s all packed.” I took a pause as I glanced into my suitcase. //I can’t believe this is actually happening…// I shut my suitcase and plopped down onto my bed. “What about you?” “Yeap, I’m all set. Cars packed and everything.” He paused. “You okay sweetie? I know it’s hard to let everything here go, but I’m going to be with you.” “That alone helps. But yeah, it is getting hard now that we’re actually about to leave. I can’t believe that we’re pulling through with this. This has been my dream all my life, but I never realized how much it’s going to hurt with letting go I guess.” “It’s understandable. I feel the same way. I’ll miss everyone a lot.” “Trust me… I will too.” Tears began to come to my eyes. “It’s going to be okay, seriously Jewel. We’ll call once we’re settled and we’ll visit and maybe they can come visit us. We’ll get jobs there, make some more money and get them to come with us. It’ll be okay, I’m with you.” “Thankfully… Thankfully…” “Do you have the book all ready?? And Skype set up on your computer and laptop?” “Yeah. I installed it and showed my brother how to do everything. Set up the web cam, added my username and everything. My laptop’s all set up too. And I have the little all time talking thing for it too. And the books in my dresser, ready to go. It looks super good actually, so I have pictures of it.” I laughed, as did he. “That’s good. Just make sure it’s visible for your mom okay?” “Trust me, I will. I’m going to go take care of some last minute things. Come in when you get here okay?” “Okay, yeap. I’ll be there in a half hour probably.” “Fine by me. See ya’ soon.” “Bye.” I finished up my last minute additions to my bag as I hung up the phone, placing it in my back pocket. Everything was packed and paid for – this //is// real. I sat down in front of my mirror and applied some last minute touch-ups to my face. I went to the window and opened it, slowly, trying not to make any sudden sounds. Placing a pillowcase over my suitcase, I positioned myself by the window. Before pulling through, I stood silent, listening to everything around me. The house was overall quiet for //my// house, but you could still hear the faint sound of my brother’s videogames and my mothers TV show. Her chuckle set off my expedition. Carefully, I positioned the suitcase upon the windowpane and gently pushed it out; making sure my push was strong enough to keep it from hitting the roof. Success! It breached the ground, making a simple small thud. I stood still, listening. All presumed as it was – I was safe. I ran over to my dressed and pulled out the book. As I dropped it atop of the bed, it made a light thud. I stood there, just glaring at it. Another tear came to my eye as I observed the picture on the cover of my family and I. I hesitated as I began to open it. //I just have to make sure it’s right.// The first page was an “I love you” letter I wrote last night. I reread through it, making sure I had no mistakes and didn’t miss a single word I want to say. I began to cry, thinking of how greatly my life is about to change again. Everything was so different now, and another new change about to strike me in the face. I sat back, leaving the book in my lap, thinking back to last year. //Think about it//, I told myself, //just a year ago I was going crazy! Looney, psycho; I was just a mess. And now, ever since Troy, I’ve been okay. I’ve found peace finally. Or have I?// I sat back up and continued to fiddle through the pages, observing the obscenely great set up I placed out for everything. There were pictures of me for my family to have, a semi-hidden message explaining where I’m going and why, and notes I wrote to my family, explaining everything I feel like I’ve never said. The last page hit me the most. Though I wrote it myself, it still was striking to even see that I’ve done. It was another letter, and a few pictures, which seemed fine. But it’s of who it was and who it was for that hit me; my father. The pictures were from a few years ago before he passed away. He was the perfect dad; caring, and always wanted the best for me. He was never not there for me, and he helped me whenever something was wrong. He was honestly the greatest. //I miss him dearly//, I spoke to myself as a few tears began to stream down my face. I closed the book, pausing my tears. It was done and it looked good. //My mom is going to be heart broken. What should I do... Should I really pull through with this?? And my brother; He can't help her fix up the house on his own or anything. Maybe I should stay... But college. I'll be going to college anyways! I mean, I'm leaving, no matter where to... But, Jewel, Germany is much farther than upstate Jersey.// I couldn't stop thinking about it all. I felt horrible, and we haven't even left yet! Ugh. I placed the book down on my bed and surrounded it with flower petals that I had in my dresser. Sadie then entered my room, purring as always. She jumped onto my bed and began to play with a petal. "No, Sadie. You're not allowed to eat these." She looked up at me with her light hazel eyes that suited her coat graciously. A small chirp came from her chocolate milk stained lips and she then returned her attention to the petal. I picked her up as she continued to try to swipe it up quickly with her paw. I gently stroked her beautifully colored black, caramel and white coat. She purred some more and got her self comfortably in position as she was suspended in my arms. Her big hazel eyes began to change to a calm blue as she looked up at me. "I'm going to miss you sweetie. You going to miss me? Maybe I'll come back for you." She again opened her mouth to release a few small chirps. She rarely every really 'meowed,' she just chirped. I giggled to her response and snuggled my face into her belly. Her sister then came in, striving for a conversation. "And you my dear, I'll miss too." She meowed non-stop, waiting for me to respond. Sadie began to squirm in my arms and so I released her. She gently reached the ground and ran over to her sister, Snow. They began to wrestle with each other and then with the petals. As they continued, I finished up my last minute things. Everything was done; suitcase outside, book all ready to go, cell phone fully charged, everything. I took a deep breath and tidy up the last bits of my room. Done. I'm ready. I went downstairs and into the game room. My brother, Ted, was there, completely into his game. "Ay sis, where ya' going?" He asked, keeping his eyes on the screen. "Troy's place. How's the game? You do all those accomplishments yet or nah?" "Yeap. Beat it, all levels of difficulty too. Just got about seven more accomplishments to do and I'll be 'teh epics!'" I laughed, "Very nice bro, very nice. Yo, don't forget that whole Skype shit. You get it right?" "Yeah yeah, I got it." Snow came in and began to cry for some more attention as she settled herself in his lap. "You better take care of these babies kiddo. I'll kill you if you don't." "I do..." He sounded puzzled. Before he could ask, I left to see my mother. The family room was not pleasingly clean, but it was bearable. My mother never had any skill with being tidy. My father and I were the ones to clean up. But now there's only me, well, no one after tonight. "Hey mom, Troy's coming soon." "Mmkay. What you guys going to do?" "Probably just kick it at his place. Go out for dinner or something." "All right. That sounds fine. I'll miss you while you're gone sweetie." My heart sank. She won't be just missing me for the day, but for a good amount of time while I'm gone. This is going to suck. "I'll miss you too mom." I sat down next to her on the couch and gave her a big hug. She, in return, embraced me. I held back my tears, //this may be the last time I ever see my mom or brother for a long ass time.// I hugged her tighter with thinking this. "Geeze Jewel, this isn't a squeeze contest." "I know, I'm just going to miss you. I love you mom. Never forget that okay?? And somewhere deep inside this cold heart of mine, I love Ted too." "I wish he believed that." "Somewhere inside he knows that, I hope." "Liar!" He screamed from the other room. I rolled my eyes. "Hopefully he'll learn how to take care of you better and actually take care for the house, rather sitting on his ass all day!" I said it this time loud enough he would understand. "Jewel, he does. You know he does. The care part of course, though he does sit on his butt all day." "Calling me a fat ass mom? Huh? HUH!? I see how it is, you love her more than me, I get it." My mom couldn't help but smile when he said that. She released a soft chuckle and spoke. “Ted, you know that's not true. I love you both just the same." "Yeah, yeah," he remarked. Just as he did, Troy walked into the house. "Hey Canning family! How is everyone?" He announced his arrival. "Ownin' some noobs be-atch!" My brother answered in a funny tone. Troy chuckled as he came into the family room where my mother and I were sitting. "Come sit down," my mother said as she tapped at the space next to her on the couch. "Thanks." His body sank into the depths of the cushions. "So how are you Mrs. Canning?" "I'm well, thanks for asking. So I hear you're going out to dinner, ey?" "Yeap. Olive Garden most likely." "Sounds good, enjoy kids. And don't get her killed or something." "I won't, don't worry." "I don't." She chuckled. I gave mom another hug. "I love you mom." "I love you too sweetheart." "I love you both!" Troy put in jokingly. He too embraced the both of us. My mother was squashed in the middle, but it didn't seem to faze her. We sat together for a while and spent our last moments together. //You won't be seeing her for so long... How is she going to survive? Ted won't be able to take care of her. Do you really want to go through this?? Do you Jewel, do you?// I shook my head to hush them up, those voices. At least I can control them now. //No, I don't want to go, but I do. It'll be better for me. I can study what I want to study and get out and travel. That's what I've wanted for my entire life. Hush, hush.// I fidgeted in my seat. "You kids should go, enjoy yourselves!" My mother said, trying to urge us out the door. It's like she wanted me to leave. But I don't. But I do. Shit. I took my camera off of the table that sat in front of me. "May I take a picture mom? Okay good!" I jumped to a position to take a really good photo of her. I took a few that came out beautifully. I sat down next to her and took as many as I could with her. I then jumped around and went over back to Ted. I grabbed the controller out of his hands and paused the game. He of course was upset, but he'll get over it. I took a few pictures of him and I together also, for the road, so I'll always have them. I then returned him to his game and took some photos of him in his natural environment. I then ran back upstairs while Troy and my mom started up a conversation. //Make sure you have copies of those photos!// I nodded my head. //That's what I'm doing//. I checked the book to make sure I took the copies that I put behind each photo. Yeap, I had them all in my bag. I glanced one last time through the book. My whole life, the past 18 years of my life is held in this book, in these photos. And now I’m leaving it all behind. //This has to be senile.// I walked over to the window and made sure it was still there. It was, good. I checked my pockets to make sure my flash drive was there. It was, good. I grabbed my two favorite stuffed animals. Everything, do I have everything? //You do. You're fine//. I ran back to the family room, placing away my camera and strapping it around my shoulder. "You ready?" Troy looked up to me asking. "I think so." I gave him an uneasy expression while my mother was back to her show. I bent down and gave her another huge hug and a kiss on her cheek. I then handed her my panda bear. "Keep 'em safe okay?? He'll protect you mommy!" She looked at me puzzled as I spoke, but didn't ask. She welcomed him in her arms and gave me a hug and kiss in return. I smiled to hold back my tears. "I love you mom. Never forget that. And make sure you feed the kittens in my room tonight okay? I did for now. I'll probably get back late. But don't worry mom." "I love you too, and don't worry. I will." I nodded my head and went over to my brother. I tossed him my horse and told him to keep it. He was puzzled but too accepted it. "You take care of your mom! I swear to god, if you don't..." "I will! I will!" “Good.” I got up and went over to Troy. He began for the door and I singled him with my finger to hold on for a second. He nodded his head and I ran back to Ted and gave him a hug and kiss on his head goodbye and told him one last ‘I love you’. After my goodbye to him, I ran back to my mother and gave her one last hug, kiss and ‘I love you’. I returned back to Troy and tears began to come across my eyes. He wrapped his arm around my waist and guided me outside. Before he was able to shut the door, I screamed my last ‘I love you’ to them both. I went around the side of the house to get my bag while Troy started up his car. I returned to him and placed it in the car. As I sat down, he began to rub my back to comfort me. “You’ll be okay, //we// will be okay. I promise.” “I know. I just can’t leave here.” I stared out of the window towards my house. I leaned my head against the window as a tear fell down my cheek. It was old and lacked proper maintenance but it was still my home. I’ve lived there ever since I was born. The yard has always been the same. And the middle window on the top floor still has that crack that’s been there for about five years now. I took my camera and took a few pictures before he was able to pull out of the driveway. “Go slow before we leave. I want to get pictures of everywhere. I never want to forget this place,” I told him as I continued to snap pictures of my yard and neighborhood. “You’ll never forget this place Jewel. It’s your home. And I sure do hope you don’t forget your address.” “That I won’t forget. That’s really one of the few things I can never forget thankfully.” He chuckled and appealed to my wish. I got every square inch of my neighbor hood that mattered; my house, neighbor’s homes, the streets, the field next to my house, the fallen tree from nine years ago that somehow hasn’t fully broken down into a pile of bark, and everything that seemed possibly important to my childhood. “Where are we going?” “To my house now to say our goodbyes. That okay?” “That sounds wonderful. I’m really going to miss everything. Why don’t we just go for a little while, like a vacation or something and then come home and move in together.” “Either way sounds nice. We’ll have to see though Jewel. We don’t know how much you’re going to like it or not. It’s really nice in Germany, and London probably is nice.” “I hear it rains a lot. I don’t always want it to rain.” He nodded his head and continued to drive. We eventually arrived at his house and said our last goodbyes. I think his mom could tell we were leaving. I got a butt-load more pictures of his house. That was where my last few years were spent mostly. It was a cute comfortable house that was just so welcoming to all around. “Bye mom, I love you,” Troy said to his mother. She responded back with an ‘I love you.’ I could tell Troy was also upset, but he was far more open to this whole change. I gave his mother and brother, Donny, a goodbye hug and kiss. “You okay?” I asked Troy as we got back into his car. “I’m alright. Shit, I’m going to miss ‘em, but it’s better off we separate from our families a bit now, you know?” “Yeap. I always wanted to leave, but now I’m scared to.” “I know. I am too.” We both held each other’s hand as he continued to drive to the airport.

It took about an hour to reach the nearest airport. We already had our tickets and so began the normal essentials and must-do’s before we boarded the plane. With each step we took, when they asked us to remove our shoes and place our suitcases on the belt, we got closer and closer to leaving. Each step, my heart sank lower and lower. Troy took my hand as he realized I was shaking though it was incredibly warm inside. “Jewel, don’t worry! I’m here.” He kissed my forehead and we continued waiting for our signal to leave. I began to tap my foot impatiently as my ass began to feel uncomfortable in the seat. Children were jumping around the open floor while they too waited to board their plane. I searched in my pocket for my cell phone and began to fidget with the number pad. “How about you leave them a voicemail? Your mom and Ted of course.” “I was thinking about it. Okay. I will.” I dialed the voicemail number. “Please enter a mailbox number, starting with the area code.” The woman’s voice on the other end of the line sounded. I entered my house number. “Please leave a message.” Beep. “Hey mom, Ted. I just wanted to say that I love you. You’re going to be upset, and I’m sorry I’m doing this to you. It’s just for now I want to be on my own, well, try to be on my own. Troy and I are flying to London. Please, don’t be too upset. I’ll write to you once I get there. I have my laptop and basically everything. Don’t worry, I have money too. I left you both a present on my bed. Make sure you give Sadie and Snow a butt-load more attention. I love them, and I love you, dearly. You guys, I’m going to miss you. Never doubt that. When we land and get settled, we can talk together on that Skype program. It’s good, you’ll like it mom. I love you guys, so much. I really do. I miss you all already. Please, please don’t be upset okay?? I’ll return home shortly after okay? I love you.” I tried to keep my voice from shaking, but I couldn’t help it. I hung up the phone and began to cry. Troy took my head and gently placed it against his chest. He rubbed my back softly and held my body tightly. “I don’t want to go.” “I know, neither do I. But I promise you we’ll go home. We won’t stay long. Okay? We have each other. That’s what we always wanted right?” “Yes, but it still hurts to leave them like that. To not tell them until that last second before we board.” I cried out softly. “I know, I know. I’m sorry we did it like this. I’m sorry. But I’m here, and I love you.” “I love you too.” I squeezed his body as he did mine. I whipped the few tears from my face and tried to toughen up. //This is going to be rough Jewel.// A soft voice spoke to me. //I know.// I replied to her under my breath. I stayed against his chest for a while longer. “Passengers boarding the plane to London, England, please begin to board.” The woman’s voice sounded above us. I looked up at Troy and squeezed his body. He nodded his head and began to get up as we released each other. As I stood up, I observed the people around me. Some were saying goodbye to family members and others so eager to get on. And here I stood. Frozen from movement, so fearful to take another step onto the plane but so eager to see what it’s like. How am I going to leave my family like this, I don’t understand it. I don’t see why I’m doing this. I mean, sure take a trip with my ‘love’ but I mean, to leave my family behind like this. What am I thinking! “Jewel?” Troy outstretched his open hand to me as he held his luggage in the other. I grabbed it, and lifted up my own with my spare hand also. He smiled to me softly, and I, in return, gave him an uncertain smile. I followed him through the terminal and across the boarding bridge onto the plane. There was a large amount of people. Faces, I’ve never seen before. My life is already changing, more and more. //Are you sure about this Jewel?? You could leave you know, just leave. Troy would understand. Turn around and leave. You can always do that, but you better think quickly. They’ll be leaving soon.// Strangers were picking out their seats; settling in and preparing for take off. //Maybe I should leave. I mean, I love my family. I can’t leave them behind or something. Shit, I don’t know.// I stood idle in the isle as Troy found our seats and placed our luggage into the compartments. He signaled to me to sit down, but I stood there. //Get off.// I listened, and turned around towards the door. Troy grabbed my hand and pulled me back to our seats. “Jewel, come on. You’ll be fine. Okay?? Trust me, please. Trust me.” He told me as he placed my body in my seat. I looked out of the window at the air lanes and the outstretched empty land. Placing my head against the plastic that bordered the window and released a few tears. Troy had not noticed, for he was far too occupied checking out things around him. Finally he noticed my disposition and began to rub my back, trying to comfort me as much as possible. //He’s doing his best//. I shrugged. I smiled wearily to Troy as he leaned back after kissing my cheek. The lights began to flicker signaling to passengers that we must fasten our seatbelts and the plane began to rumble as it made its way down the runway. I looked out of the window as I watched the landscape zoom by. After a minute or two or preparing for the official take off, we were finally in the air on our journey to England. A few more tears fell down the side of my face as it finally hit me; there is no going back now. Troy occupied himself with his iPod and soon fell asleep. I too tried to close my eyes for a while, but I kept getting the image of my mother’s face when she finally realized I was gone. I cried, and for a good hour too. Finally though, my eyes felt far too heavy for my own good and I was able to sleep. “Thank you for flying with us. We hope you enjoyed your flight. Thank you and have a great day.” About seven hours have slipped past me while we were suspended in the air. I rubbed my eyes as Troy began to shake my tired body. “We’re here!” “So I’ve heard,” I tiredly responded. I sat up and attended to Troy who was now unloading the compartments of our luggage. I grabbed my bag from his hand to help him out a bit. “I can take it for ya’.” “It’s okay, I want to hold onto it,” I told him. With that said, he closed the compartment and began towards the exit of the plane; I followed him. Once we were settled in the terminal, we began to think of what we should do first. “Hotel right? Like, wouldn’t it be better if we did that?? Settle in a hotel or something and figure out what to do from there like little tourists?” I asked Troy. “Yeap. Sounds good enough. We’ll hail a cab and see where the nearest hotel is.” He picked up our bags and headed out to call a cab. I looked out of the windows that we passed by and began to have small flash backs of my life with my mom. I ran through the many memories of my teenage years that my mother and brother stood by my side through. //We’ll all miss ‘em won’t we?// I looked around through the crowd of strangers as my footsteps followed Troy’s. //Yeah, we will.// Finally after hailing a nearby cab and navigating to the nearest hotel, we found a room that was affordable and reasonable for the both of us. We took the keys which dangled with the typical hotel tag attached to them. After riding the elevator for a minute, we arrived at the room and unlocked the door. The room was snuggly and simple; a small kitchen, one bed, a bathroom and a small sitting room with a TV. On the night stand in the bedroom was a brochure of places to travel and visit here in London. I skimmed through it for anything that seemed interesting as I settled myself comfortably under the covers while Troy unpacked an outfit to change into and took a quick shower. A few museums and nearby towns caught my eye, but nothing that seemed like an extreme must do. I set aside the brochure and went through my bag for my laptop. I set up Skype incase my mom or brother decided to sign on and talk to me. I checked my online list, but they weren’t on. I put my laptop aside on the bed and went to the balcony to take in the view of London. The air was thick of a mist from the rain the night before. It was hard to see, but you could still see the beautiful buildings across the street and from afar I was able to Big Ben. “Beautiful ain’t it?” Troy said as he came behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Sure is.” “What’s wrong?” He took me by the shoulders, spun me around and examined my face for a moment. “Nothing.” “Liar. I know you better than that Jewel. Come on, what’s wrong?” “I miss them. Already. I missed them before we even left my house. How Ted would fart every morning to inform us he’s awake, and my mom’s crazy freak out attacks with how she’s late for her next appointment. That stuff I can’t just relive here or something. I only have one legit family. You know, and I’ve left ‘em behind me, eight hours behind and a sea apart.” “I know what you mean. I mean, I left my family too you know. You’re not alone here.” “I know, I know. And I feel selfish with how I’m acting about it but like. Ugh, I don’t know.” “It’s okay. Well, look around. We’ve got this place to ourselves now, so let’s enjoy it!” “Very true, I guess,” I said to him as I looked around to the streets of London. “It is pretty damn beautiful huh?” “Sure thing it is!” He giggled as he went back inside to get dressed. I too returned back inside and began to unpack my bag of my common daily essentials; make up, camera, a simple outdoor outfit, and a sexy dress for night time fun. I placed my outfits on a nearby chair, my camera on the bed and brought my make up into the bathroom with me. I turned on the shower as Troy finished grooming his face in the mirror. I undressed myself and gave him a kiss before I hopped into the shower. After getting ready, Troy and I decided to explore to see what London was really like. It was the late afternoon and the sun was beginning to settle behind the land in the distance. The streets seemed to settle with the amounts of people, but there were quite a few still wandering around. The street lights turned on as we continued our way through the streets, passing restaurants, some cute stores and small homes. Hours passed by and we decided to get a bite to eat at a nearby restaurant. It was as simple meal of an 8oz sirloin steak which we shared together. We spent some time window shopping and just admiring the architecture of some of the older buildings around us. By the time we reached a quiet part of town, the sun was finally beginning to rise. The streets were paved with gravel and dirt. No one walked them at this hour except for the few shady person’s. Occasionally, a group of drunken men would burst out of a pub, singing a song in unison. Troy and I barely spoke, for we did not want to make our presence noticed; but our glances to each other were words enough. We were not familiar with these streets, let alone this part of the world. The dark hours of the early morning made it hard to see. A light mist fell upon the streets and a dark figure was visible from a distance. “You tired?” Troy asked quietly. “Eh, not really.” I peered into the mist to look for any signs on the street to direct us back towards the hotel. The dark figure in the distance came closer. From what I could tell, the figure was a male with a thinly built body. Besides us, he was the only lone person walking these streets. As he got closer, I clutched onto Troy for safety and with me doing so, troy rested his arm around my waist. The stranger looked up to us and glanced at me, slowing down as he walked near us. The morning was too dark to make out his face properly. From what I could tell, his face was soft and kind as were his eyes. “I won’t hurt you,” he spoke gently. I loosened my grip on Troy. “You two seem lost. I take it you’re from the states?” “Yeap,” Troy answered masculinity. “We finally escaped from the fat man’s land!” I piped in jokingly. He chuckled to my comment. ‘We’re kinda lost.” Troy informed him. He nodded understandingly. “How old are you two?” “I’m 19, and this little beauty is 18.” Troy was now the one to answer for us, as always. He stood slightly more forward than I. “Cool, I’m 19 too, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters now is that we have a drink. I can show you guys around if you need help. I take it you need a place to stay?” “Nah, we’ve stationed ourselves at a hotel. But we kinda’ can’t find it.” “Ahh, no worries. I’ll help ya’ out. I know these streets like the back of my hand. So, onward for a drink mates?” He looked back to me. //Think you can trust ‘em?? Eh, he does seem like a genuine soul. I’d go with him if I were you Jewel.// With excitement, I nodded my head as I looked from Troy to him with a smile on my face. Both of their faces lightened up. We began to walk to the nearest pub. I stood between the two as we walked. Troy took my hand and squeezed it tightly and I, in return squeezed his hand back. The pub was fairly empty of people but filled of smoke. The clanging of glasses and hushed chatter was about the entire place. An old ragged dog laid near the entrance, keeping track of who entered and who left.