Tumba 

media type="custom" key="3418850"**Tumba - Deep Valley** by grayson burger


 * Chapter One**

Her voice, it kept echoing in my ears. What’s going on? Is this real? Am I dead? What is all of this? All I can see was red, thick blood red. And she kept screaming. “Jewel, come save me,” whispered a voice into my ears with a cold breath upon my neck. Awake and full of anguish, I rose quietly from my bed and walked towards the bathroom. Blood, lukewarm blood upon my feet, like sand, but softer. Something within me brought me down to the floor to rub it between my fingers. What the hell is wrong with me? Something’s happening, and behind those doors was the scene that I was eager to see. A weeping woman, she splashed at the floor crying out. But who was she? I reached for the doorknob; it was cold for a second but then immediately burned my hand. I quickly pulled back. Something was behind this door, something someone didn’t want me to see. But I had to, I just had to. I needed to find a way to get in. The door looked fragile and old, a good kick could blow that thing off the hinges. I gave it a shot, and the door fell making a splash. Blood went everywhere, including all over me. I looked in, leaning by the bathtub, the women. She was covered in blood and in her arms, a corpse. “Jewel, Jewel” The voice kept whispering in my ears, it seemed so far away, yet as though I could reach out and touch whoever was speaking. "Save me." Sweat was dripping down my face; that voice, still playing in my ears. “Save me.” What does this all mean? I sat up in bed and looked over at my clock, 2:43a.m. Every night I hear this voice, I awake at that time. What’s the deal? These dreams, these voices… “Jewel.” The whispers continued. They’re still returning. I thought they stopped. But again, slowly returning? But why? I thought I found a way to block this shit out before. “Jewel.” What’s bringing it back, and what the hell is going on, who was this girl, calling for me? “Jewel.” “Oh shut up already!” And with that, they stopped. I lay back down, trying to close my eyes, but that voice kept bothering me. After what seemed to have been hours of tossing and turning, I decided to just get up. My computer was still on, so I walked over to it, but before doing so, I checked the bathroom. I flipped on the light switch and checked everywhere, behind the shower curtains, in the cabinets for anything that may have changed, any form of evidence to perhaps show me that I wasn’t dreaming or going insane, again. Everything was as it should. No blood, no corpse, and no crying women. I suppose that’s a good sign that it didn’t actually happen, but insanity returning? That’s not all to swell on my part. Right as I turned off the lights, the blood, I felt it again at my feet. Quickly, I turned on the lights, and still, nothing was there. A bit frightened and shaky, I sat down at my computer chair and signed online. Almost everyone was asleep. Except for one person, Matthew. I quickly without thinking instant messaged him.

//Hey Matthew,// //Remember those old dreams I used to tell you I had, after we met. And the voices, they’ve returned. Just give me a call when you can PLEASE.//

That probably wasn’t the best thing to tell him. I know he worries about me; a person who’s true to his word when he says true friend. I don’t want him to worry though, but I needed to tell someone. He was one I could speak to and would understand. After sitting there for two minutes with no response, my patience was wearing down. I was worried about what could possibly happen to me again because of this voice. And then I heard her. “Jewel, please.” I’ve had it with her calling me. “Shut the hell up and leave me the fuck alone!” And again she stopped calling. //Shit,// I said that loud. I hope I hadn’t woken up my mother. If that happened, she’d surely be curious. I walked into the hallway to see if there was any stir from the other room, but all I heard was her snoring. So I was safe from her curiosity for now. I grabbed the phone off the wall next to my light switch and quickly dialed Matthew’s number. I needed to speak to him. It rang for a while, and finally he answered. In the background I could hear the television; he was playing space invaders again. “Hey kiddo, what are you doing up so late?” He asked immediately. “I suppose you didn’t get my message. Well, to be honest… They’re back. Again,” I responded with pauses, should I have really told him? “Again?! What are they saying now?” “Well, really, it’ just her. She’s basically just saying my name like always; she wants me to help her. But who the hell is she? Dude, you know I DON’T want to go back. Just before though, she was pleading to me to help her or something.” “Okay, so basically what you’re telling me is that the voices are back. And the dreams? What about the dreams? Don’t tell me they are too?” He questioned repeatedly. “Ugh, hate to say it, but yes. And detailed more than ever, well, ever since. I keep feeling the blood all over my body now, and I got into the room rather just being outside it. It’s creepy,” I explained to him. He’s known about my previous dreams and situations. He’s been honestly questioning me every now and again about them to see if anything has returned. I’ve heard the voices before every now and then, just a couple of whispers, but that was only three times a week. But now, lately, it’s been occurring a lot more often. Everyday, and now it just seemed to be getting worse. But why? Why now? Why ever again? “Alright, well that’s not good. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. Did your mother hear?” he asked. “I don’t believe so. She seems to have been asleep, I think.” “Okay, that’s a good thing, I suppose. There really isn’t much we can do. Just try not to yell when you hear them, we don’t want suspicion on you from your mother. Really all I can tell you is to try to get back to sleep. Listen to music or something,” he offered. “Yeah, your right, music will help. Alright, I see where you’re going with this. I’ll try to sleep. Thanks a bunch and talk to you in the later-on morning. Enjoy Space Invaders. Bye” “Haha, thanks, and good luck. Goodnight darling.” While hanging up the phone, I shut off the computer, which wasn’t even in use. I hopped back into bed and tried to sleep like I told Matthew I would. I just lied there, tossing and turning. My eyes finally got heavy, and just as I was about to pass out, I heard a door slam and I sat up quickly. My eyes were still shut; something kept them close. The room was so cold, like a freezer. I felt this before, but only in the winter, and it was late summer as of now. Finally I was able to open my eyes and I tried to take in a deep breath, but I couldn’t. It was like someone was suffocating me. I looked around and gasped for air. I wasn’t in my bed. I was sitting in the bathroom by the bathtub. There was something shiny by the sink; I rose to go get it, it was my razor. I felt my face, there was tears streaming, but I felt nothing, no emotion, I didn’t even feel myself crying. I looked in the mirror, and I could see my reflection. I was crying, and I had a big bruise on my forehead, with blood dripping down the side of my face. What the hell is going on? I picked up the razor. My intention was to throw it away like I’ve had with my other ones. The one in my hands was brand new. As I looked down, a droplet of blood from my head fell onto the razor. Something obviously wasn’t right. Why did I have the bruise and why was I bleeding, and especially why did I even have a razor? I could have sworn I disposed of all my old ones. //No, not again.// Something felt like it grabbed my hand and was bringing it towards my body; some kind of force. I looked in the mirror with an alarmed look on my face, or for what I thought it was. But in the mirror, my reflection was of me crying still. All I could see was my face. Then, with a quick instant, I saw //my// reflection of fear and confusion, and then within another instant it was back to this crying reflection. I quickly looked back down, and the razor was so close to my wrist. I tried to fight back, but it was like someone took over me, making me do this. I’ve felt this feeling before, but not this harsh. The razor breached my wrists and the first seemed to have been the worst. A deep lash, you could see the impression. My old scars began to reopen and the blood began to stream down my arm. What was this? How and what the hell was going on? And then I heard her, again. “Jewel, why would you do this? Why?” I looked around as my razor continued to lash at my wrist and arm. Sudden anger filled me and I began to scream. Blood was now all over my body. I noticed my hand stopped slicing what seemed to have been left but muscle and barely any skin of my arm, just blood, and headed towards the rest of my body; mainly my stomach. It continued to lash out and my stomach also became a sheet of blood. I began to feel nauseous and waddled over towards the bathtub and turned on the faucet. It was pouring out of my body. The blood was in a large puddle surrounding me. This was the worst I’ve ever seen myself do, so far. My body then had a tingle of numbness and I collapsed to the floor. I was cold, freezing cold with my blood surrounding me. I closed my eyes and just screamed again. I then sat up and looked at where I was laying down before. There, there on the floor was the corpse from my last dream. But it wasn’t me. At least I don’t think it was. I was standing there, above her, but wasn’t I just the one slicing myself dead? But it’s not possible. Here I stand, with only the blood on my feet from standing. “Jewel. Look at this. Jewel, JEWEL!” She wasn’t whispering anymore, she was screaming, right in my ears. I could feel her breath on my neck. I looked over to the door, and there she was, the girl, the one that was lying on the floor. Her face so cold and empty of emotion. Her eyes were bright filled with life, but her body was almost dead. Her eyes were sky blue, and her hair was brown and wavy. She was so gorgeous, besides the fact of her dead skin tone. But her body, it wasn’t cut at all. No scars, and barely any blood on her. She had just as much as I did; only on our feet. She looked at me as she turned outside the door. And said, “Jewel” Chills ran up my spine and I ran out into my room to follow her. When I caught up, she disappeared. Blood by then was all over my pants as I ran. I picked up the phone to call Matthew. And there was an immediate answer. “What the hell do you want, bitch?” “Matthew? What the hell, what’s going on? Is this Matt?? I’ve seen her, I was her. She or I killed myself. Something’s odd is going on. I need you, please come here and see this for yourself...” “Shut the hell up you goddamn psycho bitch. I don’t want to talk to you.” He responded. He had such an evil tone, like it wasn’t his voice, like some demon took over him. I hung up the phone and slammed my head against the wall and everything went pitch black. I sat up quickly. What? Where was I? My eyes finally adjusted to the light in my room. I looked at my clock; it was 5:00 a.m. The sun was just rising. I clenched my fist, and felt something sharp. I looked down and opened my hand. I was bleeding, only a slight bit though, but what was in my hand shocked me the most; my razor. I checked my wrists, scared that what just happened, well really happened. Nothing was there but my old scars. I exhaled with a bit of relief. The phone was also right next to me, on my nightstand. I checked my caller I.D. I had called Matthew other than the time when I first woke up. I called him around 4:50 a.m. Oh god. I quickly hit redial and he answered. “What was that about before? Why were you screaming, and why were you saying you killed yourself?” He asked without hesitation. “I’m so sorry. I think I dreamt again. But this time, it felt so real. I was the person that I first saw dead. That body, I was in her body. Oh god Matthew I can’t even explain this shit. It’s fucking creepy. What else did I say to you?” “Just that you were her and that something odd was happening. Oh, and when I answered, you immediately said with a guy-ish voice, ‘what the hell do you want bitch.’ That freaked me out a bit. Are you okay Jewel?” “I’m fine now. I dreamed that dream, and I suppose in my dream I called you and I heard you say to me what you said I said to you. Ugh, Matthew, it’s starting again. I don’t want this. Urgh. Wait, you said I was screaming? Oh shit. Not good. How loud was I?” “Pretty loud. Lets put it this way, loud enough to the point where I could pull the phone about an inch away from my ear and still hear you. I was honestly freaking myself. I was scared your mother could hear. But somehow, you relaxed your voice. So, if she heard, all I think she may have heard was ‘what the hell do you want bitch.’ That’s all I think. Anything else happen in the dream?” he responded. “When I woke up, I had my razor in my hand and I guess I sliced my palm. But it’s barely anything. I’ll tell you the rest when I see you later. I don’t want to sleep anymore. Would you mind coming over like, now?” “Alright, yeah no problem. Just go downstairs, make yourself some breakfast and have some coffee to wake you up. Maybe that’ll help. And afterwards, take a warm shower. That’ll hopefully relax you. I’ll be over in an hour, Okay?” “Alright, thank you. Love, bye.” And with that, I hung up. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. A shower, I was a bit frightened to go anywhere near my bathroom, but I guess it would help me to relax. I just wanted this to just stop rather get worse. I placed the grinds of coffee into the machine and as I did so, the shower from upstairs went on, indicating my mother has finally woken up and was getting ready for work. I sat down to watch a bit of television. Nothing good was on this early in the morning, just a lot of preaching men, and just reruns of T.V Shows, and those stupid commercials. After a while of watching completely nothing, I rose up to retrieve my coffee. Matthew could be coming over in about an hour. I had time to kill. While I was sitting down waiting for the 5:30 show to come on, my mother came downstairs to leave for work. “Why are you up so early?” she immediately questioned. “I just decided to get a head start with the day I suppose. A lot of work to do, and Matthews coming over to hang out later,” I lied, slightly. I had really barely any work. School wasn’t until Monday and it was just Saturday morning. “Oh all right, I’ll see you later tonight then sweetheart,” she grabbed her things and a cup of coffee that I had gotten ready for her, kissed me on the forehead and left out the backdoor. I was now alone. It was now 5:30, and I decided to just skip the television show and just try to relax with a shower. I just pray I don’t pass out in there and dream again. I headed up stairs, keeping the television on. The house was so cold and empty without my mother. The phone rang as I reached the top of the stairs. I ran to my room and answered it. “Hey, it’s Matthew. I’ll be over around 6 okay?” “Alright” “I’ll see you then, and Jewel. Take a shower. It’ll keep you calm hopefully” “Okay, I was just about to, bye.” “Later days” I hung up the phone and went into the bathroom. I checked everything near me again; the shower curtain, in the cabinets, under any place that a person could hide in or behind anything. Nothing was there thankfully. So I turned on the bathroom radio and put it to a decently loud volume. I needed to relax. I haven’t had a detailed dream like that for a year at least. And it was a bit freaky to see those kinds of things again. This girl’s voice hasn’t left me alone for about a month now. But I must say, normally it’s more than just her voice of which I hear, sometimes a various amount of voices, male and female that tell me things. But now it’s just her, well, for now just her. I have a feeling this is going to get much worse. And I’m really not looking forward to insanity if it returns. I’m not going back there. //No no no//! I won’t allow that. I’ll lie all I need to. Anything to keep me from going back there. //Okay, relax. Calm down//, I kept thinking to myself. I ran the shower and stripped myself naked. I looked into the mirror to just check my face, no bruise or cut. I lied down for a moment. The bathroom floor was cold, but I kept trying to ease my mind. Finally, after a couple of minutes I retrieved the strength I needed to pick myself up and got into the shower. The water was cold at first, but it gradually got warm. I stood their enjoying the warmth of the water. The bathroom quickly seemed to have turned into a steam room. //Relax; I need to relax//, I thought to myself. I began to wash my hair and closed my eyes. I once again took in the warmth and washed my mouth out with the water. That’s when everything changed. That nasty metal feeling clenched my taste buds, blood. I immediately spat out what was in my mouth. Opening my eyes I saw it, crimson red, everywhere; all over my body. My body began to shake and I felt the hands grabbing onto my legs. I turned off the shower as fast as possible, but the hands kept reaching out, it wouldn’t stop. I began to scream and ran out of the bathroom grabbing only a towel. The blood slightly began to fade away, but the feeling of the hands continued. I ran all the way downstairs and thankfully, while on my way down, the hands gave out and let go of me. I was shaking. The warmth of the blood and the bits on my arms was still there. I wiped at them with the towel, but it wouldn’t come off, and after a good five minutes of scrubbing it off, it disappeared. I suddenly got cold and noticed I was still nude. The doorbell rang. Matthew was here. “Hey darling” He looked up and noticed I was standing there with only a towel in my hands. His eyes scanned my body, and with that I covered myself up with the towel. “Uhm, Jewel. What happened? You could have gotten dressed, and you look so cold. You’re shaking!” He stepped in and wrapped his arms around my body to try to keep me warm. Everything was happening so fast I just didn’t know what to do. I just stood there shivering; he took me by the shoulders and brought me into the kitchen. I sat down on a kitchen stool while he ran upstairs quickly to get another towel. I just sat there, completely nude now. I just was so frightened that the blood would return. I got up and lied down on the couch, bringing the towel just incase. I lied down, placed the towel over my body and immediately fell asleep.

“How long was I asleep?” I sat up, and again, noticed I was wearing nothing. I grabbed the towel and brought it over my body to hide myself a bit. I blushed and he noticed.
“It’s fine, it’s not like I haven’t seen you like this before. It’s actually a relief to get to see a bit more Jewel than I normally do in school. Wow, that was perverted. Sorry. But yeah. Uhm, I’d have to say you were asleep for like, only ten minutes. No biggie, I didn’t want to startle you to early, but than I got a bit curious with what was going on, you started squirming and mumbling, I got a bit worried,” he responded. He too blushed a little bit. “Hm, Well alright. Anyways. Okay, let me explain myself,” I explained to him how I began to see the blood and felt hands grabbing at my legs and how I just completely lost my mind and left. He just stared at me while I spoke. So intimate, but him and I haven’t been in any relationship since last year. We were once boyfriend and girlfriend, but we stayed as good friends after our two-year relationship ended. We haven’t even talked about us being well, us. It was so long ago. And to think he was looking at me that way made me wonder. He sat down next to me, and took the towel and wrapped it around me. He held my shoulders and rubbed them to try to get me warm. The way he moved his hands, something about that moment made everything change. I turned to him. “Do you ever wonder what it could have been like if we stayed together?” “Lately, honestly I have. It would have been and kept on being so great. Jewel, why did we end our relationship?” “It’s not true love, and I don’t know. I just don’t...” He took his finger, and brought it to my mouth to stop me from talking or saying anything dumb. He leaned in and kissed me. Something sparked inside me, and I pressed my lips upon his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I around his neck. After a couple of minutes, we departed our lips to take a quick breather. “Let’s go upstairs,” he offered. Without hesitation, I leaped up grabbing my towel and wrapping it around me and began to run for the stairs. “Race you!” I got to the second step and he grabbed my waist and threw me over his shoulders. He was a strong man and he ran up the stairs with my body swinging along wrapped around his shoulder. “Not if I get their first you won’t win” He chuckled. When he got to the top, he placed me down and I tried to get past him but he just stood there in the middle of the hall blocking my way. I kissed him to try to slyly get past him. But he knew better. He grabbed my waist and held me there in place. I released my lips and tried to dash for it, but by then he turned around and ran towards my room. I jumped on his back in a playful manor and he carried me into my room. By the time we actually got in, we were both practically crawling on the floor from laughing so hard. We both toppled on my bed and just lied there laughing and gasping for breath. We looked at each other, he was tearing he was laughing so hard. After a couple of minutes we began to settle down. After what seemed like forever, we both just lied there on my bed chuckling. Matthew finally stopped tearing and he sat up. “Jewel, I forgot to ask, what was going on before? What happened with your dream? Why is your arm red?” Boy was he filled with questions. I too sat up and looked at him. “Okay, the second time I called you. I was the girl in my dream before. I, well, she began to cut herself vigorously. She was really REALLY depressed; I think she banged her head on the tub really hard intentionally to cause a bruise. Yeah, that’s right. I had a bruise on my head. I mean, she did. I don’t know how to explain this. I was in her body, while she was doing these things to herself, and then, when she or I ‘died’, I stood up and was looking down at her corpse. It’s so confusing. But put it this way. Suicidal thoughts and the dreams and the voices are back; everything,” I didn’t know how to explain this to him. Even with that little information that I gave him, he hopefully understood. And from the looks of it, he did. He nodded and responded, “Jewel, listen. Just try to forget about it. Remember, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. What about your arm?” “Okay, I’ve told you bout the shower right, well when I got downstairs, the blood was still on my arms so I rubbed it off” He just looked at me, and then he moved his body closer to mine and placed my head on his chest. “Everything will be okay,” he kept saying. He just held me for a while and comforted me telling me that he was going to find a way to help me. I then looked up at him. I admired his face structure. Something about his cheekbones always appealed to me. His eyes were dark, but filled with delight, and his lips were slightly chapped from the warm heat. And his hair swooshed back and forth in front of his eyes. So many things were running through my mind, and I just began to pour it all out. “I like you Matthew, but I have to get rid of these voices. They just keep returning. Soon they’re going to tell me to kill myself again. I’m going to keep dreaming, and I’ll get off my schoolwork and if that happens...!” He once again, held up his finger to my lips to keep me hushed. He then kissed me again, but this time more power.

After a while, we sat up and looked around my room. I once again noticed I still had nothing on, so I walked over to my dresser while he sat on my bed playing with my stuffed animals. I grabbed a bra, my boxer shorts, and a tang top. I threw them on and sat next to him. He was holding my teddy bear. “I remember the story you told me about Mr. Cuddles. So cute!” he commented. I sat there smiling at cuddle, but then remembered who gave it to me, and began to feel empty inside. Someone was missing I could never get back. “I’m so sorry, I forgot it was from dad… Just don’t think on it baby, things are going to get better. I’m here for ya’ you know.” He replied. “Nah, it’s fine. I just, well, you know. Miss him. I miss when he called me princess. Waking up in the morning and being able to see his face making those googoly eyes and calling me princess. It’s something you begin to miss, even after it annoys you.” “Hm, yeah, I know what you mean. I miss my ‘ol folks too. But hey, I like living alone now..” “But you get to see both any day you’d like.” “You have a point... Well, you know my dad always welcomes you as his own daughter... Here, lets get off this topic. I know just the thing you need,” He took me and threw me over his shoulders once again after I placed Mr. Cuddles back on my bed. And he started toward the stairs. “Your not going to take me to your lair and rape me are you mistuh? Cause I really wouldn’t appreciate that now,” I said jokingly. “Ahh, I caught myself a joker now have I! Ahh, but you don’t know, that’s exactly my plan, yes yes, the plan!” He smiled and chuckled as he spoke. We, well he, walked down the stairs carefully while I hung over his shoulders. I couldn’t help but giggle to the feeling of my body swaying and lightly hitting the walls on the way down. Once we got into the kitchen, he placed me down and walked over to the freezer. He got out the chocolate fudge container of ice cream, and received two big spoons and a soda. He turned to me, held them up and laughed. I understood and grabbed the tub of ice cream and a spoon and ran over to the couch and plopped myself down. He followed, and on his way to the couch, grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry. He then sat down next to me. I grabbed the clicker and popped on the television. I handed him the clicker, for I had no specific thing to watch. We both understood each other by our actions. I guess being with someone for two years; you begin to learn their ways. I pried open the ice cream and dug right in. Chocolate fudge, the super best flavor of ice cream, well, that’s what Matthew and I believed it to be. I started fidgeting in my seat with the spoon in my mouth. I finally got into a comfortable pretzel style and placed the ice cream tub between my legs. I then looked up to see what Matthew was taking a gander at. He had comedy central on. Mad TV. He started laughing cause Ms. Swan came on. He was a big fan of her, as was I. We both began to watch the program while we snacked our ways out of our sad moods. My mind finally was lifted off of Mr. Cuddles. And Matthew was just in his own world all the time. We sat and ate for a good hour and a half, laughing at the comedians and mimicked them every now and then. By the time the show was over, we finished both the ice cream and the chips. I felt a bit more to life, and happy, so I jumped up and ran upstairs to get my guitar and notepad. Half way up the stairs, I noticed how warm it was rather cool downstairs. I shrugged it off and ran to my room and looked around for my guitar. But it wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I found my notebook next to my bed, grabbed it, and looked around. Hm… That was odd, I placed it next to the notebook… I called down to Matthew, “Hey Matt, did you touch or see my guitar at all??” “Nope” I heard the refrigerator open and bottles cling. I looked under my bed, but nothing. I remembered my closet and opened it. There it was. But how did it get there? Hm. Oh well. Just as I was about to shut the door, “Jewel!” Her voice screeched in my ear as though she was being pulled away, and just barely, I saw her sky blue eyes in the very back of my closet. But then they disappeared. I grabbed my stuff and ran for my life down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, Matthew was still searching for something in the refrigerator. “You don’t need to beat anyone in a race, why did ya’ run so fast girlie?” He questioned. “Uhm. Errm, nothing. Just my imagination. You know how I hate being upstairs alone. Don’t worry about it” “All right chica,” He hung around the kitchen, scooping out for something delicious to eat. I walked back to the couch and placed my guitar and notepad next to me. I was a little shaky. I began to watch some T.V. //Nothings happening, nothing going on//. I waited until I could get my mind clear and I picked up my guitar. I strummed a couple of strings and just started to sing. // Why oh why oh why do you cry // // Why oh why oh why baby // // We sit here in this room // // We sit here and cry // // Love is oh so far away // // Love is oh so far away from us tonight // It sounded like complete shit. After a couple of verses of me playing, Matthew came in from finally picking his snack. “You know, you’re really amazing,” he commented. I stopped playing and just sat there in confusion. “I mean, everything about you, especially your singing and your really good with the guitar” “Thanks,” I smiled sweetly and quickly jotted down what I sang. “You should see if you can get a record, make some kind of profit from your talents Jewel. I could record it at my place, it’ll be awesome!” He offered. “I’m not sure, maybe..” “No, please do. You’ll do amazing. Lets do it now!” he jumped up in excitement and ran to get his keys and was back before I could even form a response. “Alright then. But don’t laugh when nothing gets done or accomplished from it,” “Lighten up Jewel. You’ll do great. I know you will.” “Fine. Let’s go.” I placed my guitar in the guitar case and threw it upon my back.

Chapter Three
“You drive.” Matthew tossed me the keys and I placed my guitar case in the back seat and sat down in the drivers seat. “Sweet deal.” I smiled, started up the car and put the windows down. “How’s ‘bout we stop at WaWa to get a couple more snacks?” He grinned widely. “Haha okay. I don’t want really anything, maybe just a Slushy.” “Okay” I reversed the car and pulled out of the driveway. He told me of a road he wanted to go on, for me to just mess around with the car on. He directed me to it. The road was empty and hidden within the woods. So I sped up. It felt like we were trying to race the wind. I love just taking hold of the wheel and driving so fast, just getting lost in the sound of the engine. “Jewel, speed up Jewel. See that tree? Give it a try. You know you want to. Go into it, no, crash into it. Come on, do it.” The voice was cold upon my neck. “No! Why would I? Shut up!” “Jewel, what’s going on?” Matthew asked confused. “Come on Jewel, let’s do it!” “No! What if I won’t!?” “I’ll kill you. You know I will.” Her voice echoed in my mind screaming into my ear. I jumped up and screamed as I lost grip of the wheel and jammed on the breaks. The tires screeched and the car began to spin in circles. Once it finally came to a halt, I jumped out and ran away, and collapsed in the mud near by and cried. Matthew slowly turned off the car and got out, following me. “Jewel…What the hell just happened?” Matthew asked. I tried to form an answer. “She….she wants…wants to kill…. She wants to kill me,” I cried in between tears. He said nothing, just sat down and wrapped his arms around me, pulling my body close to his. He rubbed my back and let me cry in his arms. I felt so helpless and unhappy. I was going to die. After a couple of minutes, I regained consciousness and wiped the tears from my face. “Let’s go.” Matthew slowly let his grip on me go and helped me get up. “You drive,” I told him. He took the keys back out of his pocket and helped me get into the passenger seat. Then he went around and began the car. The whole ride we said nothing more, but listened to music to ease the silence. We pulled into the parking lot of the store and Matthew turned off the car. I stayed put knowing to wait for him. He turned to me. “I’m here for you, and I’ll stay so nothing will happen to you okay? You can stay at my place, or if I can, I can stay at yours with you,” he offered. “Thanks.” I reached over and gave him a hug. He embraced me back and lightly kissed me on the cheak. I smiled. But that smile only hides this feeling I had. I wasn’t scared, or angry, but I just felt so empty and everyone and everything had no meaning to me. We both began to get out of the car. He ran ahead once we got out to get the door to the store for me like a gentlemen. “Thanks,” I smiled again. I went to the back of the store towards the slushy machine. Matthew followed but stopping as he saw something he wanted. I pulled out a tall cup and began to pour the blueberry Slushy. I stared into the swirl as it filled my cup. I lost myself. //What am I going to do? This voice won’t stop, and now it’s going to tell me different ways to kill myself. Just like last time. Damnit!// Then I began to feel something slither down my hand, I looked to see nothing but red, all over my arm and hand. “Jewel!” Matthew ran and pulled my hand off of the machine. I stood back and watched Matthew grab for some napkins and cleaned up my arm and around my cup. I looked back down at my arm and noticed that it wasn’t blood, but only the slushy. “I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry! I’m not sure what’s going on with me, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” “It’s alright. We should stay at my place for a while okay?” he continued to clean the rest of my arm and topped my slushy. “Okay. I’m terribly sorry Matthew. I really am. I’ll pay for all of our stuff,” I began to reach into my pocket for my money, but Matthew stopped me. “Girl, what don’t you get about my treat? It’s fine. I don’t mind at all. I love you Jewel, and I’ll do all I need to to help you sweetie,” he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet as we approached the register. After paying and receiving the bag of snacks, he gave me another kiss on the cheak and smiled sweetly. I just smiled casually and walked back to the car. We got in, and turned on some music. As we approached his ranch home I snagged all of the bags into my hands. It’s nice that he lives alone; it’s like a get away home for me. I took the keys from him and opened the front door. I placed the snacks on his kitchen counter and crashed down on the couch.

The room was dark yet I could tell something was bright. I had something between my teeth and something upon my temples. “You’ll be fine,” said a sweet voice. “No!” I screamed. I opened my eyes and all went white. The sound of a machine turning on sounded in my ears. I wiggled and tried to break free, but I was tied down. Something touched my head and I felt a tingle throughout my body. The lights began to flicker and my body began to shake all over and everything went black.

I sat up and gasped for breath. I looked around. I was back in Matthews home. Matthew sat down next to me. “Did you just have another dream? You looked like you were having a seizure.” “Not one of the dreams of the girl, it’s from when I was in the hospital. The treatment.” I replied to him. “Oh.” He said nothing more and wrapped his arms around me. By now, it was around 10 o’clock. We still had the whole day until I had to return home. We both went back into the kitchen and began to eat some of the snacks he bought and I finished up my slushy. We both sat down to play space invaders. “Haha! Owned.” I laughed in his face. Once again, I beat his high score of 23,206. I was in much higher spirits by now. Though before I felt so dried up and empty; like one of those caves in the hot savanna that you’ll see on discovery channel. After a while, Matthew gave up. “All right, I’ll never beat you. Let’s go record.” He jumped up from his seat and ran into the other room. I heard some music and machines turn on. “Come on in!” He shouted from the room. I got up and headed towards him. “Wait, where is my guitar?” “You left it in the car, but I brought it in. It should be near the couch.” I turned around and there it was. I unzipped the case and pulled out Kairi the guitar. I just had her fixed, so she looked brand new. As I entered the room, I could see Matthew had a notepad and was whispering to himself as he tapped his foot to the beat playing. I always forgot this room was here. Matthew loved music, so he had made one of his rooms into a mini-recording studio. Almost like the ones you’ll see on MTV, except, with a low budget. But it did its purpose. For the whole two years Matthew and I’ve been together, I was only in this room once before. But the reason for my being was to hide from the voices. I felt blocked off and safe in there, and while I was home one night, I heard them, they kept yelling and screaming at me, making me want to kill myself more and more as they spoke of ways. I ran out of my house screaming at the top of my lungs and I ran to his house. I threw open the door and ignored Matthew and just went in there to hide. It wasn’t too long after that I was placed into the hospital for a year. I guess I had a bleak look on my face because Matthew looked at me a little funny. “Don’t think on it, Jewel. I know what happened, I was there. Just forget about those couple of nights. You’re not back there now, and you won’t go back. You know we’ll find a way to stop them. And you won’t have to go through those treatments ever again.” “I know, I was just having a little glimpse as to how the room was before. You changed it around a bit, it looks nice.” “Thanks. Now, how’s about we get into some recording.” “All right.” He turned the lights on a little brighter and turned on the computer. He showed me his notebook. There were a couple of songs written down. “I’ve been writing them for a while. Like Any? Some you would want to sing?” He asked. “Sure! They’re really good. So you’ll be the writer and I’ll be the musician. Cool.” “Get in there and just start playing a couple of chords and we’ll find a beat.” He pointed to the door that lead to where the sound proof walls were. Where I went a year ago. I obliged, taking my guitar with me. After a while of recording, we decided to rest and take a while off. “Has she said anything?” “Nah, not yet. Playing music shuts her out.” “Well that’s good,” Matthew said as he saved the entire recording and began to edit them. “I think I’ll go out for a smoke. Do you have any on you?” “Yeah, there’s a pack on the table in the living room. Need a lighter too?” he asked. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.” He went into his pocket and tossed me his lighter. “Thanks.” I went into the living room and grabbed the pack off of the table. “Mind if I take three?” I yelled over to him. “Make it two. You need to stop smoking you know.” “All right all right. I will. Sometime, I will,” I told him as I walked out of his back door. Everything was bright. It wasn’t as hot as I though it would be. You could tell fall was coming soon. I leaned against the side of his house and lit a cigarette. I tried to make the circled puffs of smoke. I was pathetic. Matthew could do it, and I can’t. We’ve both been smoking for two years and he’s beaten me to the tricks. His backyard was empty and the neighborhood seemed quiet. I finished my first cigarettes as I sat down. I rested me back on the side of his house and released the last puff from it. I placed the bud on the ground and let it continue to burn out. I took out the other one and lit it.

They started again. But not with truly distinguishable words. Mumbling- a whole lot of them. It continued as I curled up in the corner of his room. I was sectioned off from everything, but even with these goddamn sound proof walls, their voices still kept talking. Both a man and women began to yell. They told me the truth. “You haven’t any friend, you pathetic waste. Everyone hates you. You try to help but always fail. You stupid fucking bitch. Everyone hates you! Everyone! You even hate yourself. Leave here damnit. Nobody wants you. Just rot.” They wouldn’t quit. They were speaking to me for the past half hour. I couldn’t stay in my house. I couldn’t. So I came here. “Shut up! I hate you! I hate you all!” I reached into the smallest pocket of my wallet and pulled out my razor. It has specs of blood upon it from the night before. I raised my arms and examined the new openings from the night before. I started a couple of weeks ago, and nobody knew. There were scabs and cuts still. I hadn’t attempted suicide. I just did this because it silenced them for the time being. Even yet, the voices would never and will never stop. I’d had it with them though. “Jewel, just do it!” I’ve reached the end. I took the razor and gave up everything; family, hope, love, life a goddamn care. I had nothing anymore, so what was the point. “You left me! Why. Why!?” I screamed to him. “Yes, he did. He //left// you. He hated you!” They just wouldn’t stop! Tears were streaming down my face. The impressions left by the razor were deep and my arm was bleeding severely. “Jewel!” Matthew ran in. He had been asleep when I barged in and he probably heard my screaming. He wrapped his arms around my now limp body as my blood continued to seep out of my body. He rushed me to his bathroom. I felt nauseous and my sight began to fade in and out. I got a glimpse of Matthew, crying. It was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I tried to speak. “Matthew… I’m sorry… I love you.” “No, don’t you do this Jewel. Don’t you die on me goddamn it!” Matthew cried. I heard the ambulance coming. He must have called when he heard me. He held me so tight against his body. My blood was all over him, but he didn’t care. He held my limp body until the paramedics pulled him back. My sight began to fade more and more. I called out for Matthew and tried to hold his hand, but they pulled me back. They pulled me back! I saw a man trying to bandage up my arm to stop the bleeding and the bright lights shining back and forth. They tied me to the stretcher and I tried to break loose. I should have been dead! I needed Matthew. A man injected me with something and everything went black as I screamed Matthews name one last time.

“Jewel! Get your ass back in here! You’ve been out here for a long time. How many have you smoked?” Matthew came bursting out of the house. “Only two.” I took one last puff and doused the end of the second cigarette against the ground. I stood up and brushed the dirt off of my ass and began to follow him as he walked back into the house. “What have you been doing out here anyway?” he asked. “Just a smoke.” “You sure? When I came out you looked like you were about to cry..” “Yeah, I’m sure. I was just smoking Matthew.” I had been smoking, but not enough. I was thinking about that night that I spend in that room of his. “Jewel, you’ve got that face on..” Matthew pointed out. I quickly put a smile on. “Nah, I don’t. I just zoned out.” “All right” “I’m going to go lay down. I’ll be in your room.” I went into the hall and into Matthew’s room. His room was plain and simple. His walls were white with posters of bands all over. You could barely even tell they were white. His bed was small but very comfortable. There was dirty laundry all about his floor. He had a dresser and a huge stereo. But other than that, his room was empty. I laid down upon Matthews bed and stayed there for a while. Matthew walked in quietly. “You all right kid?” he asked. “Yeah.” I laughed a bit. I stayed where I was, I was way too lazy to sit up. “Well, that’s good.” He said as he began to climb on top of me. I laughed at his tactics. “Sometimes, you know me to well.” He chuckled. I let him lay his body upon mine and he tenderly began to kiss my neck.