Shrishti+M

Shrishti Mamidis MEMOIR

 I can clearly visualize what it was like sitting with my grandfather in India amidst the vast open mountains that fresh, foggy morning three summers ago. The feeling of that fresh air of the morning is what reminds me of that time the most. My grandfather and I were all alone and closed in by tall mountains covered with luscious trees every inch. Although everything was still, it felt as though everything was in motion, including the fog in the early morning. The breeze of the fresh and crispy air rested on my tongue like a fresh mint energizing me. My palms rested on the ground and felt the light wetness of the grass from the mist. I sensed a light tickle on my arm and found two small vermillion lady bugs crawling up my hands. As I moved my hands to take a glance at them, they flew away, floating in space.  My grandfather tapped me and pointed towards the sun. It looked like a gold, warm, and blazing ball rising up as slow as a slug into the clear white sky. All the animals began coming out of their homes in the tree to watch the sun rise. Songs of the beautiful birds filled my ears with synchronized harmony and joy. Every being waited for that sun to rise and finally letting us breathe in its glistening and glowing scent. I was very satisfied and relaxed to rest there and watch the graceful sunrise with my grandfather. Perhaps we truly feel a sense of relaxation and satisfaction when we entirely surrender ourselves to nature, in lieu of thinking about something else. It came to every being there as serene as a clear blue sea. “ The story is called Teddy Land. A long time ago, there was a place called Teddy Land. It was the most magical place in the world. It was the land of teddy bears. Every bear there would be filled with magic in him or her. All of the bears would come to life, just like us humans. Everything would be perfect in Teddy Land. There would be magic, happiness, and love everywhere. Until one day, and evil spirit of the teddies cam and destroyed everything. The evil spirit came and took away the bears’ magic and made them into normal Teddy Toys. With those toys she put a disguise on herself and sold them to human beings! But the evil spirit had done one mistake; she had forgotten to take the power of one small bear away and she had already sold that bear to someone. The bear’s name was Ted. The owner of the Ted was a little boy named Herbie. He was 6 years old. The baby’s dad was a big fan of all the Herbie movies, so that’s why he named his son Herbie. Herbie loved Ted a lot. He would take him anywhere he went. Ted was a very small bear that was only 4 ¾ years old. In teddy land, when bears are five years old only, they will develop their magic. May 19th was Ted’s birthday, and it was coming up in a day. No one knew about Ted’s birthday but Ted himself. The day of his birthday, right at 12:07 a.m., Ted began to gain his magic. He was coming alive! It was as fascinating as the universe, and Herbie wasn’t awake to see it. The next morning, when Herbie woke up he saw that Ted was sitting right in front of him. Ted got up and started jumping around. Herbie couldn’t believe his eyes. He kept on asking Ted if it’s really him. Herbie went and screamed everywhere, “ mommy, guess what, Ted is alive!” “ Oh, that is wonderful,” replied Herbie’s mommy. Herbie’s mom didn’t really seem to care much about it so Herbie went back into his room and talked to Ted. Ted told Herbie everything that had happened with his hometown and all his people. Ted wanted to save them and make everything normal again. Herbie promised Ted that he would help him in doing that. And that was all he said. My grand father finished with his story and went on looking and enjoying the beautiful scenary with me.

Shrishti Mamidi Creative Writing I – 2A Mr. Halaw January 3, 2009 “How were the tests, Mr. Smith?” Joe asked his biology teacher. “The tests huh? They were…hmm…how could I put this nicely, they were…ah yes…interesting” Mr. Smith replied. “So they were bad” Joe was nervous “No of course not you silly boy” Mr. Smith started laughing and after a second he suddenly stopped. He got serious. “They were the WORST grades anyone could ever get. I don’t know what you’ll do about the grade, but you need to prepare yourself before you take a look at it.” He stopped talking to Joe and started to prepare for class before all the kids got there. Joe just stood there thinking. “Hey Joe, what did you get on that timed writing?” Maria came into the classroom. There was no reply. “Tell me what you got?” There was still no reply. “Helloooo! Joe, what happened?” “Huh…oh yeah, that. Um…I don’t remember” he finally replied. “How can you not remember? You got it back last class didn’t you?” “Yeah…I think so, I’m not sure.” “Stop chatting and read the do now. Go sit down in your seats Joe and Maria,” Mr. Smith commanded. Maria quickly hurried towards her seat but Joe still stood there. “RIGHT THIS MOMENT JOE. Do not attempt to make me mad. It is the last block and its Friday. I want this class to go well so we all could have a good weekend.” Joe walked to his seat, but very slowly. All he could think of was what Mr. Smith said about the test grades.

=IN JOE’S MIND=

“Shit. What am I supposed to do? If I got a bad grade on this test, I will kill myself. Of course Mom and Dad won’t care about what I got. Well, they never care about what I get. They don’t even care for me. I don’t even exist for them. I will have to stay with them forever if my grades aren’t good. I have to start filling out my applications soon and I don’t want to have bad grades. If I do, I’ll never go away from them. Oh god, this is crazy. Please help me. Please.” Joe kept on talking to himself the whole class.

“Okay now there is five minutes left till class ends and I want to give everyone their tests,” Mr. Smith announced. “How’d we do Mr. Smith?” everyone started asking. “Well, you can see for yourself when you get them but I was certainly not at all happy with them.” He quickly started calling out names and handed out tests. Joe was looking at each person’s expression when they got their test and he was scared. They all looked at it, smiled at first, and then regretted for not trying hard enough. “Maria, Jake, William…” Joe’s name seemed like it would never be called. “BEEP!” The bell rang and everyone sprang out of their seats and headed towards the door. “What about the rest of the tests? Joe asked anxiously. He really wanted his test back. “We have no time now so I will give it back to you next class. Is that okay Joe? I am sorry but I really have to go right now,” Mr. Smith said. “Okay,” Joe was disappointed and walked. Mr. Smith was still in the room packing up all his stuff. As he was walking out he saw his friend Dan heading towards Mr.Smith’s room. “Hey” Joe said, “Why are you going back?” “Uhm…” Dan hesitated for a moment “I just have to ask Mr. Smith something.” “Oh okay. Hey listen, what did you get on the test?” “I got a 46%. I don’t know what to do, but it is better than a lot of other people’s grades. I asked them and they all got like 36% and everything,” Dan replied. “What did you get?” “I didn’t get my test back yet and I don’t know what to do. I am so scared.” “Its okay,” Dan patted Joe on his back “you’ll be good.”

**MR. SMITH AND DAN ALONE IN THE** **CLASSROOM** “That was so good Mr.Smith!” Dan was very excited. “Great job Dan. You and the class all did very well. I don’t think Joe even realized that we were joking around with him,” Mr. Smith revealed. “Thank You! So, what did he get on the test anyway? I know we all got 80’s or 90’s.” “He got a 105%. Joe is a very smart boy and I know he takes this very seriously, but I just want to surprise him,” Mr. Smith said. “Okay Mr. Smith I will see you later,” Dan left.

=JOE ALONE AT HOME= “I can’t wait that long. One whole weekend? I will die if I don’t find out what I got. Maybe I did get a bad grade because of the way Mr. Smith was talking to me, and everyone else did horrrible too. There is no point in waiting till Monday. I am so depressed! I HATE THIS WORLD!!! I know exactly what to do. Mom and Dad aren’t home so they won’t know. Either way they would not care about what I did.

Oh my gosh wow! This is so good. I love the ending. I think you should add to it afterwards, like make the teacher feel really bad about what he did to Joe. Dan's character could be developed a little more i think. Not too much since he isn't a main character but it would be good to have a little more background info on him. The ending is a bit choppy and I'm not sure whether you should make Joe kill himself or not. Maybe just start to inflict self harm or something. But the teacher should feel really bad afterwards. Last, this isn't as important, but can you call him something other than Joe? The name's a little ordinary unless you thought it would kind of a contradiction because he's smarter than the "average Joe". the story is absolutely awesome though. I love the ambiguity! Heather