Elizabeth+O

"Did you ever get so wasted you shomit?" //What the fuck is shomit? "Shomit?" My mother looks confused. "Shomit happens when you're so drunk you vomit and shit yourself at the same time." My Aunt throws her thoughts into the conversation. "Does it count if you're not wasted?" "Yeah, I guess," Luce says to her. "Well I've never drank to that point, but one time your mother," she gestures with her hand toward another cousin, Amanda, "had my boyfriend and I over for dinner. She made some bad seafood. Oh, God! I was so sick. I actually shomited the whole night." My mother's laugh is a roar. It cuts through through the conversation and drowns out the tried and true "classic" holiday songs blaring in the background. She throws her head back so far for it minute it looks like she'll topple right over and knock down the christmas tree. "It's never been that bad for me," she screams out between laughing fits, "never that bad." The story really wasn't so funny, neither was the use of the word "shomit," but my mother is that annoying woman who not only laughs at everything, but laughs at everything so that you can hear her 3 towns over. It's not really the events as much as her freak out that gets the whole room laughing, eventually near tears, with the word "Shomit" being thrown around senselessly. Even I'm giggling by the time we reach my turn to share. I look blank for a minute and then say, "I have honestly never shomed." "Good," my mother looks at me, "You don't want to be there, it's bad."//