Jen+Hayes+Short+Story

Nothing changed. Nothing ever changes. I stoop up there shaking, no trembling. I froze paralyzed by the eyes focused on me. I felt streams of tears start to trickle down my cheeks. In the back of my head I could hear the whispers of people. And then, nothing. In other words…I blacked out.

“Kelly…Kelly” I could hear someone calling my name. I wiggled a little and tried to open my eyes. “She’s ok, don’t worry,” I could hear my close friend Rina say to someone. Somehow I gathered the strength to open my eyes. I was back stage, and all these people were staring at me with worry. “You fainted again,” Rina whispered into my ear noticing the slightly confused look on my face. “I-I know,” I carefully used Rina to get myself back up on my feet. “Do you want to try again?” I look up at Rina. “The karaoke man says you can,” I continued to stare at her. The idea of going back there scared me senseless. “You’re very lucky you know, some places wouldn’t give you a second chance.” I just stared at her. “Well you have some time” she reminded me. I just nodded. After that Rina and I went back to our seats and watched some of the performances. Every performer glowed on that stage. One brighter than the next it was amazing and at the same time upsetting. Why can’t I shine like that? No matter how hard I try I can never shine like that. I’m like an ant on a stage trying to get the attention of a whole crowd of people; never noticed. It’s hopeless. Ever since I was little I have loved to sing. I would stand up in front of my parents and sing with one of those toy microphones like every other little kid. But as time went on and I continued to sing I became better. And then it all started. My parents were a little too proud of me. They showed me off to family and friends anyone who would listen. I couldn’t take the pressure of singing in front of people. So, I never sang. For the longest time, no song, no tune, not even a hum came out of my mouth. Until I met Rina, I never sang. But there was something about her that made me want to sing again. And slowly I started to sing again. Only in front of close friends, but still I sung. Whenever Rina sang she shone. Like all the performers at this karaoke bar. They stand on that stage and shine with confidence and radiance. Ever since I met Rina all I could wish for was the same. The ability to shine on stage. But, for me a feat like that will always seem impossible. My eyes wandered back to the performer singing slightly off tune until they finally stopped singing. “I think your better,” Rina smirked with delight. If only I could agree.

Rina and I sat there for a while and continued to listen to the singers but the whole time I continued to have this odd feeling that someone was watching me. But, every time I looked around though everyone’s eyes were focused solely on the person singing at the time. After awhile Rina noticed it too. Finally a maybe in her late thirties got up from her chair and confidently strides over to our table. “You’re that girl from earlier, right?” The woman’s eyes were dark and cold. “The one who blacked out.” It made no sense I have never met this woman in my life and I already felt she was punishing me. “Y-yes…that was me” I looked to the ground. I never was able to make eye contact in a conversation and this did not feel like a good time to change that. “Why?” The woman asked almost bluntly. I turned my head at Rina, she was still trying to make sense of the situation. “W-why what?” I tried to glance up at her but her cold eyes seemed so focused that I instantly looked back down. “Why did you black out?” She was determined to find a reason. “U-um I guess I was scared” I responded scared to tears. My interaction with people is usually extremely appalling in the first place so her coldness seemed to just make everything worse. “Well then there was no point in going up there to sing” I glanced over at Rina who looked furious. She is always so protective of me. I couldn’t ask for a better friend in times like these. “And since when did you have the right to say if there was or wasn’t!” Rina responded crudely. The woman just ignored Rina, pulled up a chair and gracefully sat down at our table. “As I was saying,” she continued smoothly, “someone who doesn’t have the courage to sing shouldn’t be able to sing at all.” Her eyes where eyes were still cold as stone but there seemed to be a look of sadness deep within them. I just stared at her. Was there any point to this conversation? Did she have a reason to sit down next to me and tell me something I already know? “I never had the chance to sing,” the woman said. “I lost my voice to an illness when I was about your age.” When I heard this I finally looked up to meet her eyes with my own.. “I once feared the stage, just like you. And now I can only dream of being up on that stage.” I continued to stare at her as she talked. A feat I had never even dreamed of doing before. “You shouldn’t let your fears get in the way of singing, it is the only true way of expression” her eyes were filled tears, cold eyes filled with tears. And with that the lady, just as mysterious as she entered my life; she left. She swiftly got up from her chain and walked out. “Wasn’t that odd” Rina said bluntly letting out a small chuckle. But instead of answering I quickly pushed out my chair and sprinted towards back stage. All I could think about was that mysterious lady and her words. I couldn’t let my fears get ahead of me again. I didn’t want to lose my voice before I ever got the chance to sing out loud. I ran backstage in such a frantic sprint I had startled the manager as well as everyone else backstage. “Let me try again!” I yelled slightly exasperated and completely shocked. I had never talked so loud before. “I would love to let you but, were going to close any seconded” the karaoke man answered. “Please I’m begging you;” I looked at him straight in the eyes pleadingly “let me sing,” “But were going to close,” “Let her sing” the manager cut in. “Staying a few minutes longer wont kill anyone” he said with a smile. I ran on that stage, closed my eyes and listened for the music, determined to just get through one song. So I could at least say that if anything ever happened to my voice I truly sang at least once in my life. And I sang, harder and better than I ever had ever before. I maybe could even say that I shone; at least Rina claims that I did.

My only wish now is to meet that lady. Without her; Id never be able to truly sing.