Soumya+J

SoUmYa JoSyUlA's MeMoIr!! The Trouble With Poetry

I, as a poetic poet realized, As I watch the hot blazing sun- And the sweet trickling on my cheek, I, Billy Collins, now see

The trouble with poetry is That you must think thoughts like poetic thinkers, That it encourages you to add more to be creative, It is wanting more than getting anything in the world, It's like a tree wanting more to dance so the wind can blow of it's leaves for the autumn, Or like the children wanting more candy when mothers go against it.

The smooth tip of a black point pen writes away, away When will it end? The perpetual papers fly like a balloon flying farther away from everything from everyone someday, The trouble with poetry is not what other people think of your writing but what you think for it for your self,

Poetry has it's up's and down's, when filling me with happiness I dance like a ballerina in light, When filled with depression I fall like a person drowning in night, Poetry is something out of the blue, The words stick on paper like glue.

But now it is the end, Where we put our pen down, And maybe a crisp apple or our apple too, And leave our notebooks hanging with Images ready to speak.

You know the trouble with poetry is, There is a never ending stream for words, They continue forever and ever, The trouble is poetry is poetry exists.


 * Ben: I really like the poem - and it has a really interesting style to it, almost somewhat sarcastic -- I think anyway.

Some things I think you should work on:

Last line: "The trouble **with** poetry is poetry exists.

Fifth Stanza: ups and downs don't need apostrophes. "when filling me with happiness I dance" I think should be "I dance when it fills me with happiness" Also, although I like the ballerina metaphor, I think "light" doesn't make sense -- change to another word like "on clouds" or something like that since I see that you use a lot of nature imagery -- which I'm guessing is the style of Billy Collins. I don't think you can really say that someone is "filled with depression". And "a person drowning in night" is pretty good but I think you should ad "drowing in the darkness of night" or something like that. The last two lines, however, seem corny and cliche to me, and I don't like how they rhyme. (Unless Billy Collins randomly used to have stanzas that rhyme, I think the whole stanza shouldn't rhyme. Then again, since it is your own poem, and no longer inhibited by the assignment, I think you can put even more of your own style into the poem if you'd like.)

Last stanza: "You know the trouble with poetry is/there is a **never ending** stream **of** **words**/**that** continue forever and ever..." I think the last line seems out of place in the last stanza and might even be able to stand alone.

First Stanza: I don't understand what the "sweet trickle on my cheek" means.

Second Stanza: "That you must think thoughts like a **poetic thinker**

Overall, I really like the poem -- it's very well written! (I especially like "poetic poet")